Signs You’re Overdue For a Night In

Sunday morning. You’re either just going to bed now, or waking up with an earth shattering headache. That is, if you did the weekend right. It was all going fine until tequila, then everything gets kind of blurry. Now that you mention it, the whole first half of the summer is kind of blurry. And the 4th of July is right around the corner. If you read this list and think “wow, I could have wrote that,” yeah. Take a break for a weekend and let your body rest before you get star spangled hammered in two weeks. Otherwise, you might be letting freedom ring from the bathroom floor.

Recently when people ask you what you’ve been up to you have to answer with

While your weekend started like

But quickly spiraled into

And you woke up today like

So now you’ll be spending the day explaining your choices by saying

But after seeing your debit card statement, your parents won’t even answer the phone because they know it’s going to be you begging for money.

They don’t understand that financing your drinking and late night eating habit is a two person job.

It’s gotten so bad you’ve recently been couch diving to afford the $5 bottle of wine at Wine Wednesday

You’ve spent days questioning friends what you did to bruise your entire body

You may have even had to squeeze a hospital trip into your drinking schedule to deal with a drunken injury

And while this life style is an absolute blast, you can’t remember the last time you and your bed had some quality time

Or when you used Netflix without drunkenly passing out halfway through whatever you chose.

And besides all your physical, mental, and financial problems, stories about your escapades are a popular part of dinner conversations with your friends

Who then follow the stories with exclamations about how they just “can’t even drink like that anymore” now that they have big girl jobs

But now that you think about it, the whole “hang in without pants” thing sounds nice every once in a while

On top of not having to wear a bra, it might be great to drink wine out of a proper wine glass.

Plus you don’t really know what’s going on in your friends life

Yup,  a night on the couch with your girls watching some shitty rom-com and laughing at your past weekend (while drinking moscato) is just what the doctor ordered for today’s massive hangover.

You and your friends bored with the regular popcorn and nachos for a movie night? Snack on our yummy pizza recipes or try out the healthy summer salsa before your 4th of July BBQ’s next weekend!

 

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Classic Moscato Ladies of Hollywood

1. Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s

If you haven’t caught this one on Netflix, you need to watch it. Audrey is such a star. She’s a hot mess, but she knows how to get what she wants. From the most iconic LBD ever and Hepburn’s character wearing sunglasses inside, to her treatment of men, and the ability to get what she wants, Hepburn makes it to the top of the list of Classic Moscato Ladies.

This scene says it all:

She’s just fabulous.

But she’s a hot mess at home.

She’s independent.

When I first saw this, I thought it might  be a .gif of me.

She doesn’t need a man. She has “cat.”

And most importantly, she loves alcohol.

 2. Elizabeth Taylor

This is the woman who gave us this fantastic quote:

It’s my personal mantra. But that’s not all that makes Miss Taylor a leading lady in this list. She was an activist her entire life, fighting for the things she believed in. She worked her ass off, commanded rooms, and didn’t take shit from anyone. And she was terrible at relationships. The woman was married 8 times. Not to say I aspire to do the same… but she’s a heartbreaker – a quality I find respectable. Needless to say this diva is the definition of a moscato lady.

Her list of husbands.

3. Olivia Newton-John in Grease

Sure she starts out in this movie being a love-obsessed, goodie-two-shoes. But Newton-John’s character, Sandy, proves herself by the end of this movie. She has John Travolta crawling after her, as she tells him he better shape up. Moscato ladies don’t settle for men who aren’t good enough for them.

She learns to tell guys exactly what she’s thinking. If someone’s being an asshole, they deserve to know.

And, well.. we’ve all had that one guy who f*cks with us. That one guy we know we shouldn’t still keep around or think about. But it’s a battle. And the important thing is she bounced back from this, as all Moscato Ladies eventually do.

4. Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing

She snags Patrick Swayze. ‘Nuff said.

5. Goldie Hawn in Overboard

Moscato Ladies can’t cook.. even a husband who’s lying about being your husband should know that.

And Goldie Hawn gave us our next Moscato Lady… she’s her mom!

6. Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

Getting a man to fall for you means doing everything against your natural desires when you like someone. Don’t be too available. Don’t be too eager. Don’t let hime smell your desperation. Andie (Hudson) knows how to play the game in this movie & this scene proves it.

And seriously… who didn’t dream about a night out in this fab yellow dress as awkward tweenaged middle schoolers? We all dreamed of having lives like Andie’s, and prayed to God we’d somehow end up being half as fabulous as this Moscato Lady.

 

If you’re reading this thinking, “OMG SO ME…” congrats! You’re already as fabulous as these six classic Moscato Ladies. Cheers to that!